For the Fifth Time

For the lack of burning fire
For the fear that grips so well
For the quenching of desire
For the living that is hell

For the plan that's only "safe"
For the river deep and cold
For the care that starts to chafe
For the plans both dark and bold

For the agony that's life
For the peace that lives in death
For the lack of bitter strife
For the final draw of breath

for all these I now refuse
for all these I cease to live
for all these my choice is made
for all these I leave this life

To go with all those poems I keep writing

For Yet Again

For the beating of my heart
For the failure of each start
For the leaves entwined in ink
For the depths to which I sink

For the losing of control
For the void within my soul
For the words that gave their life
For the love that turned to strife

For the lips that form false smiles
For the dark untrodden miles
For the mask I once more wear
For the pain that lives in care

For the waking of my eyes
For the breaking of torn ties
For the thoughts that never sleep
For the vows I meant to keep

For the friendships now in shreds
For the selfish tears I shed
For the son almost unknown
For the wild oats I’ve sown

For the friends in need of cheer
For the enemies that jeer
For the break of each new day
For the truths that strangers say

For the last glimpse of the stars
For the locking of the bars
For the losing of my fate
For the help that hopes too late

For the pain of getting well
For the half-truths that I tell
For the fear of the unknown
For the path I walk alone

For the tears they made me weep
For the anger that I keep
For the hopes at once betrayed
For the wrath confinement made

For the tears I cannot bring
For the songs I dare not sing
For the years forever gone
For the years still yet to come

For the words I cannot write
For the dark that ne’er sees light
For the formless pain I bear
For the emptiness I fear

for all these for help I sought
for all these answers I seek
for all these my chains were wrought
for all these…I am not weak

For, Again

For the arms that held me fast
For the memories now past
For the days and sleepless nights
For the tears of wasted fights

For the lack of where to flee
For the worthlessness of me
For the drifting here and there
For the peace that comes so near

For the empty nights of fear
For the road that's never clear
For the love I once possessed
For the Loves I once distressed

For the touches I now lack
For the darkness deep and black
For the love I did not show
For the Son I barely know

For the path trod all alone
For the sins I must atone
For the selfish things I've said
For the always that's now dead

for all these I seek release
for all these I weep tonight
for all these I search for peace
for all these my cries take flight

For Better Things

I wrote this several months ago. I did not publish it because she did not want people to know that she was dating us. So I will post it now, a record of things that were.

For life's freedom now to start
For the fear of starting new
For the love within my heart
For what I hid yet always knew

For the breaking of love's chains
For heart's opening once more
For its joys as well as pains
For the wealth no longer poor

For the recklessness of joy
For the doors no longer locked
For heart though not a toy
For the hours that run unclocked

For a love not one but two
For a strength that runs threefold
For caresses old and new
For more arms to rock and hold

For refusing to look back
For rejoicing in our song
For a trust that never lacks
For a love that is not wrong

For all these I hold love fast
For all these I look past pain
For all these I leave the past
For all these I live again

For

for the peace within my soul
for the fears within my heart
for the hurt that breaks me whole
for the end of every start

for the blood that flows so free
for the ink that lingers on
for the shame of what is me
for the birdling stripped of song

for the loss of wasted dreams
for the wasting of lost words
for eternity it seems
for the sharp yet broken swords

for the groans of sleepless nights
for the years of writing pain
for the strain of pointless fights
for the price of staying sane

for the darkness deep and strong
for the fear that no one cares
for the tears that linger long
for defiance of your stares

for the mask I take again
for the sunshine I once bore
for the lies, both now and then
for the chains that bind once more

for the lies I once believed
for the years of formless guilt
for once having been deceived
for the blood that once was spilt

for the hopelessness of hope
for the heavy dark to crack
for the only way to cope
for the pain of looking back

for lost friends and love and days
for forsaken promise made
for the price that friendship pays
for the pain to rest once laid

for all these I take the blade
for all these I seek release
for all these my choice was made
for all these I search for peace