Friday, September 2, 2011

Why I Have Issues with God (In Part)

The reason God and I have issues is not that his children have a stunning inability to live up to their name. While that sucks, they are after all, only human. No, God and I have issues because of his unwillingness or inability to aid me at any point in my life. I can't say I've always been wholehearted in searching for him, but I don't think that matters. If that were a requirement, no one would qualify. Again, that whole human thing. Of course, it isn't a given that anyone does qualify. I know too many people who have deluded themselves (case in point: inlaws) into thinking God is leading them when, if he is who they say he is, he would never do any such thing. Who is to say that those who truly believe that they have a relationship with God are not laboring under a similar delusion?

But as for God...in my view, he is either impotent or at best, a liar. I don't deny that he may have done good things. After all, Earth is a pretty sweet place to live. I too have done good things, however. That doesn't make either one of us actually good. Why should I believe God is good? Because I am yet alive? Because I have a loving family? At times I would rather have been dead. And my husband loves me of his own free will, and my son was born of sin. Should I believe God is good because he let an eight year old girl be sexually violated by her brother? Should I thank him that I bore blame for my innocence? Should I believe that his absence from my entire life was an aspect of his goodness? What do you think I am, crazy?

On a Pastoral Encounter

Pastor Loggans asked a lot of questions today, and sadly, I can't remember them all. But what do I believe about God? Is he powerless? I don't think I believe that because if I did I wouldn't be so mad at him for what happened. But do I believe he even exists? I don't see a reason to. I think my mind has been thinking that because I reject evolution I have to believe there is a God. I am starting to believe he doesn't exist at all. The world is a whole lot easier to understand if you aren't trying to justify some good god. There is no good god. He isn't letting bad things happen, because he doesn't even exist.
But do I really believe that? I think I wish that I did believe it more than anything. But I think my Baptist upbringing has spoiled me for any true atheism. No, here is what I do and do not believe, as of right now anyway:
I believe that God is.
I believe that God created the world, or at least set evolution in motion (my objection to theistic evolution, besides lack of proof, has always been the "death before sin" part).
I do not believe that man is inherently evil.
I do not believe that God is inherently good.
I do not believe that God is worthy of worship because he created any more than I am because I gave birth.
I believe that man acts as he does out of his heart, which is why there is both great evil and great good in the world.
I do not believe God gives strength or power to humans.
I do not believe "for his glory" is an acceptable reason for God to initiate or allow evil to happen to the innocent.
I believe "free will" is a Christian cop-out. According to your Bible, God can and will override free will when it pleases him.
I believe that if God was truly opposed to "sin" and evil he would eradicate them. He allowed and causes them to flourish.
This is not an exhaustive or comprehensive list, and it is subject to change at any moment. It is more of a work in progress. But here it is for now. I am sure there will be more later.