Nothing

These are days

When words are few
When my heart is breaking

And life is empty

When I'm floating alone

Lost in the void

When the razor beckons

But I lack the strength

I stare at the abyss

But dare not jump

Then I realize

I already have

And I'm falling

I'm floating

I'm dying alive

No thought for tomorrow

I just barely am

And what was

And what will be

Both so far away

I've only the moment

The stillness

That never ends

I wish for the dark
To see blackness and pain

I wish for the light

For hope and joy springing

For anything I wish

But this nothing

How long can I bear

The grey murky fog

Who knows? Who can?

Time has no meaning

Not in here

So, words come slowly

They mean nothing new

I'm only repeating

What was, and will be

For this is my life

This and the darkness

Oh Father, hear my words

Give me the darkness!

Give me something to feel

Pain or sorrow

Agony and despair

Guilt and shame

Anything but this

Anything but nothing.

O Thou Darkness

O thou darkness
I hate thee
So why dost thou
Tempt me
With thy return?

O thou darkness
Leave off! Desist!
I dare not
Believe thy lies
Thy subtle draw

O thou darkness
Do not bind me
Do not break me
Do not hold me
In thy depths

O thou darkness
Thou has caused me
So much agony
Why does some part
Desire thy renewal?

O thou darkness
What hold hast thou?
What stubborn chains?
Why dost thou
Enslave me?

O thou darkness
Thou hadst thy years
My youth was thine
Leave off! Return
Thou from this pursuit!

O thou darkness
I beg of thee
Turn thou thine ear
Release me, I plead!
Grant me freedom!

I Will Forget

There have been many hurts
But I will forget them
Much pain not intended
So I will forget it
As far as east from west
Has God removed MY sins
And remembers them no more
So I must also forget
Your sins, my friend

Your tiny faults
Your glaring failures
I will forget
Your sinful choices
Your foolish mistakes
I will forget

Forgiveness has been sought
And obtained
So I will forget
I hold no record
Keep no blame
I will forget

It is not easy, this forgetting
My heart wants to keep score
My flesh tally offenses
My mind analyze
But I choose to forget

If you choose
To remember
That is not bad
But it is a choice
If you choose
To remember
Remember also
That forgiveness has been
Asked and granted

But as for me
I will forget

Soul Renewed

To love deeply
To believe truly
To hope purely
These are the things
Renewed in my soul

To find salvation
To cherish freedom
To seek truth
These are God's gifts
Renewed in my soul

To feel joy
To see sunshine
To trust unreservedly
These are now present
Renewed in my soul

To glorify God
To desire service
To humble myself
These things has God
Renewed in my soul