Nothing

These are days

When words are few
When my heart is breaking

And life is empty

When I'm floating alone

Lost in the void

When the razor beckons

But I lack the strength

I stare at the abyss

But dare not jump

Then I realize

I already have

And I'm falling

I'm floating

I'm dying alive

No thought for tomorrow

I just barely am

And what was

And what will be

Both so far away

I've only the moment

The stillness

That never ends

I wish for the dark
To see blackness and pain

I wish for the light

For hope and joy springing

For anything I wish

But this nothing

How long can I bear

The grey murky fog

Who knows? Who can?

Time has no meaning

Not in here

So, words come slowly

They mean nothing new

I'm only repeating

What was, and will be

For this is my life

This and the darkness

Oh Father, hear my words

Give me the darkness!

Give me something to feel

Pain or sorrow

Agony and despair

Guilt and shame

Anything but this

Anything but nothing.