I wasn't born with depression. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been better if I had been. Because I remember life before depression. I remember what it felt like to be free. I remember what it felt like to laugh wholeheartedly. I remember what it was like, and my life feels so empty now.

It hurts to hear the hope in my father's voice when he hears I've visited a church with friends. Because I know that he will never accept who I am, and will probably pray to his dying breath that I find "the truth." I wish he could accept that I've already found it.

I Choose to Look Through My Own Eyes

And what is it that my own eyes tell me? Who do my eyes say that I am? My eyes tell me that I have endured more in my 23 years of life than some people do in a lifetime. My eyes see that while I may be broken inside, I am still standing. My eyes see that though I have suffered betrayal after betrayal, I have lost neither the ability to trust nor the will to hope. My eyes see that even though I have been tempted to give up time and time again, through sheer stubbornness I continue to move forward. My eyes tell me that I may focus on myself a lot, but I am always willing to help a friend, enemy, or stranger who needs me. My eyes tell me that I am not weak, but strong. And my eyes tell me that while I will always have room to grow as a human being, I can be proud of who I am right now, today.

In browsing my website stats I've noticed that some people have been attempting to follow links that no longer exist, specifically to darknesseverpressing.com (or .blogspot.com), iplaywithmarkers.com (or .blogspot.com), or untwistingthetangledweb.com (or undertakingliberty.blogspot.com). I realize that all links that go to those sites are broken or blocked, and I apologize for that. I am making it my mission to go through and fix all those links, but it will probably take a while. Thanks for your patience and understanding.