I heard that once upon a time the most common form of suicide in England was turning on the gas in the oven and sticking your head in. So they passed laws and did something to where you couldn’t really kill yourself that way anymore, and suicide rates plummeted. It seems that you can literally inconvenience people out of suicide.

I just said I was at the lowest point I could be without being in the process of committing suicide, and that is true. But you know why I’m not in that process? Because my chosen and on-hand method involves overdosing on some meds. I have the meds. I even crushed them because a) I can’t swallow more than a couple pills without throwing up and b) they’re extended release and I wanted them to hit all at once. I have pudding and yoghurt to put them in. I have alcohol to exacerbate the effects. I have everything I need to kill myself right now, this moment. Yet I haven’t. Why?

Because the meds would kill me, sure. But in the meantime I’d get the runs and shit myself, and I just really don’t feel like doing that right now.

Sometimes it’s the little things.