Reality

I live in a reality where being honest is manipulation, where if I acknowledge I need change I am lying, if I change I am not sincere, and if I am content with being who I am I am selfish. Nothing I say is interpreted in a positive light, no matter what it is.

And you know what? I'm starting not to care. I should never have cared. I should have stopped caring at the very first inkling that love might be conditional. It doesn't matter your side of the story, it doesn't matter if you feel a victim, it matters not to me in the least. Because it is your choice to remove me from your life, and therefore your opinions ought have not one bit of power over me.

So if you think me selfish, go ahead. If you think sharing my heart with you and trusting you for years is manipulation, go ahead. If you think me not sincere or a liar, go ahead. I hope it makes you feel better.

I have been holding off on saying this because of the love I still held for you, but that love is fast becoming buried by reality. So I will say this: I hope your life is everything it ought to be, and I hope you live the life you have given me. But whatever life you do live, I am not responsible, I am not to blame. When you move past your honeymoon phase and discover each others' true selves I hope you still love each other, though I would not guarantee it. As you continue to feel overwhelmed by parenthood I hope you remember how you judged me for being the same. I hope you learn the truth about yourselves, and I hope that when you do, you will believe it.