It bothers me when I hear statements like this: "I know what you feel like, I wanted to cut once." Why? Because you are claiming a false empathy. You have absolutely no idea what I feel like. You are trivializing an agonizing portion of my being. It is easy to think about cutting in the abstract, but if you've never done it you have no idea of that of which you speak so flippantly.
Have you ever felt the delicate kiss of a razor blade as it travels across your skin, and the sharp exquisite pain of its bite? Have you ever watched as the blood starts to well up, first in tiny droplets, then a steady flow down your arm? Have you ever felt your entire body go limp as a wave of endorphins washes away the pain that is always there and you tasted blessed freedom?
Have you ever laid awake at night, struggling to keep yourself from reaching for the blade once more? Have you ever carried on a normal conversation with a loved one while your mind and body clamor overwhelmingly with the desire to spill more of your own blood? Have you ever hated yourself for who you've become even as your grip tightens to make that first red line, only to revel once more in that rush of glorious freedom? Have you ever lived in absolute slavery to that which you both worship and despise?
How could you possibly think "wanting to cut once" empowers you to know how these things feel?
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