You Would Have Me Believe

You would have me believe that what I grew up believing was the truth, and that the truths I now believe are a lie. But what does that mean, exactly? It means that, if the Bible is true, I was never a Christian, no matter how much I thought I was. If some are to be believed, I am a goat among the sheep, doomed to stand at Christ's left hand and be cast into hellfire and brimstone forever. If I was not saved, all those years I earnestly sought God's face, it stands to reason I shall not become saved if I turn to seek his face once more. You would have me believe the truth of your religion, not to convert me, but to have me live the rest of my life knowing I am doomed to eternal punishment. You would have me believe that the only eternal life I can look forward to is one lived in a lake of fire and brimstone. You would have me believe that this is just, that a holy God demands that some be punished while some go free. I would have thought a holy God would demand that all be punished, or if a way to freedom was provided, that all his beloved creations go free. That is not the way of it, according to your Bible. It would have me believe that even though I willingly came to drink of the waters of eternal life, I am yet forever damned. Even though I called my God "Lord, Lord," he would still cast me out. Even though I came to him earnestly and sought him fervently, he would still say to me, "Depart from me into everlasting darkness. I never knew you." 
This is what you would have me believe. This is what you seek so earnestly to convince me of.