Comment Response (I Think)

So how much faith does it take to be a Christian? The Bible talks of faith "smaller than a mustard seed," does it not? I consider myself an exChristian, because if the Bible were true, I would be "saved." A lot of people (most recently Varda) have tried to invalidate my rejection of Christianity on the basis that "I must have never been saved to begin with," therefore I have no understanding of what it is to be a Christian. I was merely pointing out that, having "called upon the name of the Lord" I should be saved. Or having accepted "the gift of God which is eternal life." Or having trusted that it was "not by works of righteousness which I have done, but according to his mercy, he saved me." (By the way, why am I the only one that has quoted Scripture thus far?) The way I have worded some things is, I think, what has caused Varda to believe that I was attempting to work for my salvation, so for that, I would have to apologize. Sorry, Varda. By the Bible's standards, however, I was a child of God, a born again believer. And while you are free to believe otherwise, I would just like to ask you then...are you God, to judge a person's heart? Certainly you can talk of "by your fruits you shall know them," but even given that, you cannot judge with certainty whether I was or was not saved. (In one sense, you might consider me still saved, as there is that whole "once saved, always saved" concept to consider.)

As for your other comment, I don't believe that mine is the only rational viewpoint. I think there are a lot of rational viewpoints out there, religious or otherwise. I (gently, hopefully) mocked some of Varda's viewpoints because, well, she isn't presenting them rationally. She is picking apart my posts, twisting them, and responding to "me" about things I haven't actually said or believe. I do believe that Christianity as a whole is untrue. I base that on my experience. But I will admit that, not having had your experience, I cannot fully argue the truth of Christianity for you. I'm not trying to argue the relativity of truth (which would be a discussion for another time entirely anyway), just saying that while I can, on one hand, emphatically state that the Bible is a lie, on the other hand, I realize that you (or at least Varda) would emphatically state that it is truth. I believe you are wrong, but you are correct in pointing out that it is a belief. However, it is a belief based on rational logic and facts. That is where Christianity breaks down. It asks you to believe a great number of opposite and illogical things, because God (according to the Bible) said so. I won't get into those now because I've pointed them out before. Anyway, there is a reason my belief system currently goes by the name "pragmatic agnosticism." You can google (or wikipedia) that if you wish, but basically it means that while I could be wrong about the existence of God (and therefore about the truth of the Bible and Christianity), given that God has made no clearly discernible difference in the world, it is a moot point. (Yes, I realize Christians would disagree about God making a difference. But for everything they would like to say God has done, I could point out a completely nonreligious explanation.)

I started this in the comments section but since it turned out so long I will just post it on the main page. As with yesterday, if I come back to this after actually having had that wondrous thing called sleep and grammatically or logically I've had issues, my apologies. And just in case you were wondering, yes, being illogically terrified of sleeping does indeed suck. (Although I'm not sure being illogically terrified of sleeping has much to do with the fact that I haven't slept, since even when I try to go to sleep it hasn't worked well.)

I just wanted to thank Varda for giving me a good chuckle and a few head shakings, and promise her I shall respond to at least some of her responses. It is hard when you spend a few months on a blog and someone decides to respond to it...and misunderstands and misrepresents every single post. I guess such is life, and Christianity. Rest assured, though, Varda, I will get back to you. In the meantime, though, check out this blog, written while I was a Christian (until last July of course, since that was when I left "the Faith") and answer me why I would ever go back to the life I lived then. Or why I would not do my best to snatch my friends from that bondage (and it is no less a bondage if you love your jailer).

One last thing before I go, one thing I had to respond to: you talk as though I (and Lalaith) were never Christians, that we never loved God, that we could never understand this mystical love relationship with him because we were never sincere. To put it most bluntly and shortly: you are dead wrong. I was a Christian. My faith (though sorely misplaced) was real. I believed the Bible, I believed in salvation, I "called upon the name of the Lord" and should have been "saved"...did such a thing as salvation exist. But, to be even more blunt, such a thing does not exist. I never had a relationship with God, never loved him as you think Christians ought to, because He doesn't exist either. I wanted to. I lived my life wondering why I didn't. I sought him earnestly, as the Bible said I ought to (which you referred to as "trying to earn salvation"...if obeying the Bible is trying to earn salvation then you're all screwed). I wasn't knocking faith as a concept in my post; I was pointing out that no matter how plainly I say it, firmly I believe it, or irrefutably I prove it, you (and most Christians) will never accept that truth, because you have "faith" that the opposite is true.

Anyway. That is really all I wanted to say for right now. I shall say more later, providing I'm awake and don't have other pressing business *cough cough World of Warcraft cough cough* to attend to.

I may come back and find all kinds of typos and spelling errors (like the fact that somehow i just tried to spell error "hours"); my excuse is that I've been up about 22 hours now (on 5 hours of interrupted sleep). Anyway. Catch you later.