Nothing to Prove

I have lost the need to write constantly about my decision to reject Christianity. I have nothing to prove. Christianity lives or dies by faith. Faith is not logical, it does not accept proof, or facts, or reason. It lives by its own rules and its own beliefs. So I can prove nothing to a Christian, unless they already have their own doubts. I may plant the seed that one day flourishes into doubt; I hope I do. But I will never be able to prove anything to people who, when faced with irrefutable truth, simply say, "I believe the opposite, because the Bible says so."

In another sense, though, I do not feel the need to write constantly about my own new beliefs and values. They are what they are, and I do not need validation from anyone, even those who agree with me, to hold them. That is the main reason I write less now. I am confident in my viewpoint in a way I never was with Christianity. Half of my writing for the last several years has been as much to convince me as anyone else that my faith was real. Because it was misplaced, I was fighting a losing battle, a battle I did eventually lose.

I am not perfect. I never was. But now I no longer have to strive for perfection. No one is going to say to me, "your ex-Christianity is not good enough," and if they did, I would laugh in their face most heartily. I do not think it is bad to write about these things, especially as I am doing it right now, but the reason I have not written nearly so much is that I have no need. I am complete in and of myself.