The other day I went online and took a couple of mental illness tests. And as I expected, most likely if I wanted to pay the money to visit a doctor, they'd tell me I was suffering from severe clinical depression. No surprise there. What did surprise me, or would have if depression left me enough energy to be surprised, is that depression has much less to do with being "sad" than it does with being fatigued. Being so bone-deep weary that you don't have the capacity to feel anymore is more indicative of depression than crying all day. That has been the case with me, certainly. Not that I haven't had those sad days, but for me, depression is more a bone-crushing weight of utter exhaustion.
So when I muster enough energy to clean a small section of the living room (we DO have a floor there, who knew?), or take the garbage out...it is a sign that maybe, just maybe, the darkness is receding for a while.
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