This Journey Is My Own

I love to help others. In fact, more than once, I have gotten myself in trouble trying to help someone else. If someone is hurt, or scared, or confused, or trapped, I will do whatever I can to fix their problem. I think that is part of the problem I find myself running into now. I want to help people escape the trap of Christianity. And so I try to argue, to fight, to convince them to find true freedom. But I forget, that isn't why Lalaith and I started writing this blog. We started writing it for ourselves, to make a record of our journey into untwisting the tangled web. That is why no one outside ourselves saw it for so long; it wasn't written for your benefit, but for ours. 

Sure there are inconsistencies. But I don't need to defend them to you. If you would be so kind as to point them out (using quotes if possible), I will try to address them. But not to satisfy you, no. I will face and overcome contradictions and inconsistencies so that I (not you) can look myself in the face with confidence. To be perfectly honest, I don't care if you think I'm wrong, inconsistent, contradictory, or even mentally unbalanced. The opinion of people on the Internet (that I don't even know) matters now a whit to me. Because (to repeat myself, in case you didn't catch it the first time) I'm not writing for your benefit. I'm writing for mine, and for Lalaith's.

I hope I am being clear. Varda's whole blog has taught me that things I say can and will be completely misunderstood. (I guess as long as she isn't praying for my death, I can deal with it though.) It isn't that I won't listen to your arguments, or consider what you have to say. I'm not saying that your words will never have an effect on me. Just that I honestly don't care if you hear all I have to say and think me (at best) wrong or (at worst) a liar.

I will continue to write. I will continue to post. And I will continue to take your words into consideration. But this journey is my own, and I will travel it as I see fit. You are welcome to come along for the ride...but I am undertaking my own liberty, not yours.