In Chapel One Day

Ah, scars. Yes, I see your sideways glances. Why not just ask? I do not know whether or not you are judging, but you are Baptists, so it seems likely. Perhaps you are just confused, maybe you have no idea what self-injury is. Maybe you are simply disgusted by the evidence of my sin. That is perhaps the most Biblical response, but we as humans have a hard time separating disgust for the sinner from disgust for the sin. I do not hold you to a higher standard; I judge you by myself. I know that most of you are as I once was: having a form of godliness but denying the power of it (there I go, quoting Scripture again). They have an outward form of godliness and think that it is actually godliness. I do not pretend to be godly, save perhaps by my presence here at all. Inwardly and outwardly, I scream that I am different. One of the things that I hope my appearance does is force people to think, to throw away their preconceptions and see that appearance is not indicative of holiness. In a few years or perhaps only a few months, I will still look the same. I will still have scars. I will still dress in red and black. My hair will still be "funky." But at that time my inward parts will match what I truly am - a child of God. So don't judge me based on what I cannot now change. I chose to inflict these scars, and given a choice, I would probably keep them...but I am not given that choice. I cannot change my skin. What I have done is permanent. Your gossip and lying and backbiting leave no visible scars; my cutting does. My sin is no greater and no worse than yours in the eyes of God.