So I tried to post this on your Darkness Everpressing blog, but obviously you've blocked comments (which I knew, but forgot). Hopefully, you don't mind it coming here. I'd have emailed it, but I couldn't find your address. So here's the comment:
You know, going from 40 days to 21 weeks and now to 9 months is quite a lot of improvement. I don't know how long the times in between were, but if you started cutting four years ago, you've actually had (in that time) more than an entire year of NOT cutting.
I can't really empathize - I've only ever actually wanted to cut once and I didn't end up doing it - but I can sympathize. You don't HAVE to fail; I know it feels inevitable but you can beat it. Also, I know we kind of have a weird. . . sort of relationship thing. . . and I may very well not be anyone that you want to have as a friend, but I get the feeling that we would probably get along pretty well about most things. If you ever want someone to talk to and no one else fits what you're looking for, I'm around.
I literally laughed until I cried at "I know we kind of have a weird...sort of relationship thing..." In a good way, though. I'm still chuckling. Trust me, I've had good relationships start out weirder. Just ask Lalaith. :) The thing is, though, that I'm bad at having relationships. Perhaps it is the depression, perhaps something else, but I tend to push people away. And given how very good I am at reading people and at being abrasive and acerbic, I tend to succeed. Anyway. Part of the reason I put Darkness Everpressing on the Internet was so that people would know exactly what they were getting into in endeavoring to start a relationship with me. More than a few people haven't tried again after following that link. So, if you aren't scared off already, that's a good sign. :)
Hey Katy! I read your blog sometimes because I still pray for you. I just wanted to tell you that even though I know you probably won't appreciate it :P I wish we could be friends, because you wouldn't push me away. I know a girl who cuts and is depressed a lot, and I talk to her all the time.
So I tried to post this on your Darkness Everpressing blog, but obviously you've blocked comments (which I knew, but forgot). Hopefully, you don't mind it coming here. I'd have emailed it, but I couldn't find your address. So here's the comment:
ReplyDeleteYou know, going from 40 days to 21 weeks and now to 9 months is quite a lot of improvement. I don't know how long the times in between were, but if you started cutting four years ago, you've actually had (in that time) more than an entire year of NOT cutting.
I can't really empathize - I've only ever actually wanted to cut once and I didn't end up doing it - but I can sympathize. You don't HAVE to fail; I know it feels inevitable but you can beat it. Also, I know we kind of have a weird. . . sort of relationship thing. . . and I may very well not be anyone that you want to have as a friend, but I get the feeling that we would probably get along pretty well about most things. If you ever want someone to talk to and no one else fits what you're looking for, I'm around.
I literally laughed until I cried at "I know we kind of have a weird...sort of relationship thing..." In a good way, though. I'm still chuckling. Trust me, I've had good relationships start out weirder. Just ask Lalaith. :) The thing is, though, that I'm bad at having relationships. Perhaps it is the depression, perhaps something else, but I tend to push people away. And given how very good I am at reading people and at being abrasive and acerbic, I tend to succeed. Anyway. Part of the reason I put Darkness Everpressing on the Internet was so that people would know exactly what they were getting into in endeavoring to start a relationship with me. More than a few people haven't tried again after following that link. So, if you aren't scared off already, that's a good sign. :)
DeleteHey Katy! I read your blog sometimes because I still pray for you. I just wanted to tell you that even though I know you probably won't appreciate it :P I wish we could be friends, because you wouldn't push me away. I know a girl who cuts and is depressed a lot, and I talk to her all the time.
ReplyDelete