I've Built a Wall

borrowed from a friend

I have built a wall
of razor blades
I have created a mask of smoke
and I float away
on the secrets dripping off my black stained lips
lies have created my spine
and the claws inserted from the darkness
hold it in place
I have forgotten faces
and misplaced places
there's nothing left to do
my hair falls in my cement face
and covers what use to be my eyes
you would never know me,
if I took off my disguise
all I know is going up in flames
and seeing scars
only brings more shame
I'm tired
but I'm still chained
in this game
my prison walls are made of bones
and though I fall
I remain alone
cold and separate
though I share my heart
I know I'm the one that broke it
so I put the pieces
on a glass
and hope someone still wants it
they lust for my love
and they push and they shove
when will I have enough
my wings have been ripped out
and soaked in sulfer seas
my halo is broken now just like me
my skin is crying
and my bones are aching
this is to much for me to take
I am worthy, only to break
so break me
and crush me
then leave me there alone
Ive been through this before
I can fix my own
falling on my broken knees
and bowing my head to pray
then with one word "please"
I recall what I did today and yesterday
I feel ashamed
I'm to blame
chaos is my fualt
but I'll keep myself locked in this vault
don't let me ou
tI can't be in the light
only the stars can see me now
what have I got to lose
if I'm am nothing anyways
yes, it hurts to choose
or at least that is what everyone says
I lay here breathing
I lay here wishing
I was leaving
I only want to run away
I only want to stay
there is too much inside of me
and I let everything that was once good go to waste
I can taste satan's lips
and i breath in to recognize his smell
like nicotine
and pills
this time he's here to kill
save me
reach for me
don't let go
I know I'm heavy
and I know...
I know heroes
and zeros
all alike
please come to my rescue
i would ask for help if only i could trust you
but i lost you
i lost everyone
i lost myself
and came undone
now I'm wide open
I've built a wall of razor blades
and need to find a way out
I built a city around my soul
and now I'm trapped...
I'm up in flames
don't look at me
I'm nothing but bones and shame