Life

It's not over
Life's just begun
I'm only twenty
So why do I feel so old?
Why do I have so little
To look forward to?
I grew up too early
Too fast
I grew up with bills
With worry, with stress
I learned things at eight
I should just be learning now
I tasted at ten
What I should be tasting in May
I should only have to wait
A few months or less
For such things
But it's going on twelve years
And how do you deal
With something that's dealt with?
How do you forget something
Engraved in your memory?
At twelve I stopped something
That should never have started
And at sixteen I dove back in
Headfirst.
And at sixteen I wanted
Life to be over
And at eighteen and nineteen too
And October of nineteen
Saw me act on the want
But I'm still here.
And at twelve to now
I hated my body
But only found change
Through a blade
Now I'm twenty
I'm only two decades
But I've been through
Enough for five
So it's no wonder
I feel so...nothing
It's no wonder
The joy is all gone
I tasted life's pleasures
Too early
And they've turned to
Ash in my mouth